Dating a man who sleeps around

I agree with you actually. And I think the same goes for girls who have done less than ladylike things.

I think it all boils down to confidence. Confidence people can get lots of play in their wild 'sowing their oats' days. But a truly confident person also knows what they want and are happy to settle down with it when they find something worth settling down for.

Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women?

Less confident people are always going to be questioning themselves and their choices which is more likely going to lead to a wandering eye and floundering in a relationship. That's why I try not to judge too harshly on someone's number I mean unless it's truly staggering, which to me shows a less than confident person who will sleep with just about anyone that will take them.

I judge more on their character realizing that everyone has a past and that if we chose each other to settle down with, we are both the real winners in the game. I agree with you, too. That doesn't mean that having some ridiculously high number of previous partners is great, but I think it's good to have had some experience. My "number" is what I'd guess to be on the average side for my age, and I'm fine with that.


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I've been with enough guys to know what a true keeper my current boyfriend is. Many times it's not.

3 Misconceptions About Men Who Date a Lot of Women | HuffPost

Especially if it has a formed a pattern. The key word is SOME experience. Not sleeping with every Dick and Harry I don't think it is spread by "beta-guys" but perhaps women who have been burnt by men who got bored after a few years and wanted to re-live the wild times of their youth. Imagine dating a swinger or someone who's into threesomes all the time, and then who suddenly states he or she became "monogamous". How did that sudden change happen? A call from God perhaps? LOL Not gonna fall for that. Of course it's no surprise she left you as she was only 19 when you met.

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Some relationship experience is usually good before settling down as I already said. So it's better to choose women closer to your own age next time. Then they won't leave you well, unless you want them to Originally Posted by danny in van. I kind of agree with this. It's one of the big reasons I think I'm not ready to be a good relationship partner despite wanting to be. When it comes to both sexes in this topic, I just wonder Originally Posted by maysj Maybe when you're older that's true, but I'm 21 so it's a dealbreaker if a guy has a big number.

Also, when I get older, if a guy has NO problem with his hefty past and feels like it was simply a "right of passage", then I won't give him a second thought. Being sexually impulsive when you're young is common and somewhat understandable, but as you mature I would expect you to see the wrong in acting the way you did when you were younger.

Oh I definitely don't see my past as 'wrong'. Actually suppressing your desires may be 'wrong'- and is unhealthy and leads to: It's only wrong if you coerced someone into it! Originally Posted by silvermercy. But incompatible with a lot of people, yes. Big numbers are a dealbraker for me, too. Not everyone is suppressing sexual desire just because they don't sleep with many people. I think the priests example is a bit extreme. In other words, if this was a job, the employers would look at your CV and your past experience. And they would assess the risks. And while some experience is always good as people progress in their lives and careers of course, too much experience on many fields is not good for any employer.

In your current relationship, you made a clear decision to seek a girlfriend, and found her in four months. Clearly, you feel lust for her, and you also like and respect her. You are very emotionally available, in fact — you crave the emotional union of attachment, but there is no love object with whom to experience it.


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  • Why Do Men Sleep Around With Lots Of Different Women??
  • The economist Robert Frank has suggested that emotions serve the purpose of sustaining commitments that require forfeiting immediate rewards. In this culture, though, plenty of guys have lots of casual sex while young, fully intending to settle down later, marry and have a family. They may find the transition to monogamy especially difficult.

    The more women a man has had sex with, the lower the odds that he can be sexually gratified by one woman. In general, men find their partners less attractive after sex, while women find their partners more attractive. Evolutionary psychologist Martie Haselton explains that high-count men lose even more attraction for their mate after sex:.

    For men who pursue a short-term mating strategy, first-time sex signals both that a goal has been achieved and that there is a possibility of becoming entangled in an unwanted long-term relationship. After first-time sex, the feelings men and women experience do indeed differ.

    Do men in fact actually have more sexual partners than women?

    These effects are hypothesized to prompt behaviors to secure investment for women or to extricate oneself from a potential romantic entanglement for short-term oriented men. As far as I know, there has only been one study that looked at partner count and sexual satisfaction, which I first referenced in the post Manwhores: For Casual Sex Only. It included married men and women, aged , all with their first spouse.

    However, results indicate that for every additional premarital sexual partner an individual has, not including the marital sexual partner, the likelihood that they will say their current marital sexual relationship is extremely satisfying versus only being moderately satisfying goes down 3. When running models separately for males and females, the male model was more significant at 5. A majority of college men still judge their female colleagues more harshly than they do fellow male classmates for the same sexual behavior: Given that a minority of students engages regularly in casual sex, this is not surprising.

    Whatever the reason, it suggests that women who have previously not engaged in much casual sex may disqualify men with a promiscuous past. It sounds like she may have some sense of this already, but if not you owe it to her to tell her the truth about your feelings. I also believe you owe it to yourself to see who else is out there. Second, while I can find nothing that suggests you are less likely to fall in love because of your history, it sounds to me like you could benefit from an emotional detox.

    The last couple of years sound like an emotional roller coaster with some high moments of drama. I would recommend getting back to a state of emotional equilibrium. That means no emotional prudery, i.

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